too bad, darling
by golden doe
Summary: I want to hate you so badly. But more than anyone else, I want to hate myself the most. For being too stupid to realise that nothing will ever be the same anymore. Because while I haven't moved on, you have and I want to hate you for that but not hate you more than myself.


_You left and I left until there was nothing left of us.  
If there ever was us__._

—

Best friends. That was what they used to be before she left and he held onto that. Best friends. To have that kind of relationship with someone who disliked him at first was _something_. And at the age of twelve, he thought that this something could be something _more_.

Because Uzumaki Naruto had always liked Haruno Sakura.

At least he thought so, hoped so, until she left. Moved with her family to Oto. She said she'd call him when she got there, she promised him. Sakura did. And from then on, every week he'd call her and she'd call him and they'd talk—he'd tell her what she's missing out on, '_can you believe Shikamaru asked Ino out? And she said yes.'_ _'what! No way, you lie, Naruto!'_ and she'd tell him everything new about her life, _'I'm attending an all-girls school and I hate it because they always pick on me and my weird pink hair and wide forehead' 'ignore them, Sakura-chan. You're by far the most beautiful girl I've met'_.

But she'd always say things like: _there's no place like home and Konoha is still better and I miss it, everyone, you, and I wish I could go back…_

It was almost like she never left. Sakura was still in the know of what's going on in Konoha while Naruto learned everything new about her. Even hundreds of miles apart, they were still growing together. The first year went smoothly.

Then she started talking about a boy. A boy named Uchiha Sasuke, and _oh! Naruto, he's the most amazing person I've ever met!_ He'd listen to her because that's what a best friend would do to another, listen. It didn't matter that with dreamy sigh and praise she gave for Uchiha Sasuke, his heart would shatter. And he hated every single thing of it because she made him feel inferior to a guy he never met.

Naruto hated Sasuke before he even met him but he'd never tell her that.

The phone calls stopped after some time but he told himself it was because university entrance exams were coming up and Sakura wanted to be a doctor so she's studying hard. Besides, they're still sending each other emails. Not to mention, they still got Facebook.

The emails eventually stopped coming from her end but he didn't stop sending her one every week. _Sakura-chan's just busy. You know how she is, very diligent and dedicated with her studies. Stop being ridiculous, Uzumaki, she's just busy_. He'd see her on Facebook and chat with her.

'Hi, Sakura-chan! How are you?'  
'I'm good, Naruto. Busy. You?'  
'Yeah, I'm good too.'

And that would be it.

_See, I told you she's just busy_.

But when you're friends in Facebook and you got her as your Close Friend, you receive a notification whenever she posts something and you see her upload 199 photos on album 'Great Escape to Oto Fantastopia' five minutes ago when you sent her a 1500-worded email a week ago, it's about time to wake up.

Naruto might be an idiot sometimes but he wasn't dumb. Sakura was ignoring him, or probably didn't care anymore. He briefly tried to wonder what went wrong, how things went wrong, but he realised the signs were all there. Had been for a long time, but he just didn't want to acknowledge it, to admit it, because it would mean failure.

Because it'd mean he failed as a friend, as a best friend. It'd mean that he wasn't good enough friend, wasn't good enough to be kept in touch with, wasn't good enough to care about. He was just a relic from the past. Someone old kept in the attic, where sun doesn't reach, left to collect dust, and to never look at again.

But like the idiot that he was, he'd click on the album and look at each picture. He'd see the way Sakura's green eyes was shining so brightly, her lips stretching in a big smile, how her pink hair would be flying behind her with the wind…

And next to her was a dark-haired boy with dark eyes and pale skin and he hovered the cursor over his face and in a tiny little gray button it said:

Sasuke Uchiha.

Another five minutes later or maybe more, another notification arrived.

_Sakura Haruno is now in relationship with Sasuke Uchiha._

Naruto clicked on the 'Like' button and commented: 'I'm happy for you Sakura-chan! And you Sasuke bastard better not make her cry if you want to keep your face intact.'  
Not long after, there was another comment. It was from Sakura. 'Naruto! Don't insult my boyfriend!' And he could hear her voice reprimanding him, as if she right next to him. But she wasn't.  
'I'm just threatening him, Sakura-chan, hehe,' he commented back.  
She commented back, but her comment surprised him. 'Naruto! It's been so long, I miss you! Skype?'

And Naruto knew she wanted to talk to her best friend about the latest big development in her life just like old times, but it wouldn't be like old times, it would never be anymore. And he'd be an idiot for thinking so, for hoping so, because he's grown up and knew better.

Nothing will ever be the same but for old times' sake.  
—

_I want to hate you the way Kyoko hates Sho.  
But I don't really have a reason to hate you, other than the fact that you were able to move on and I wasn't._

The End.

* * *

_can you feel the angst tonight?_

anyone caught on Skip Beat! references? _  
_

i'm sorry for my bitchy author's note last night. i think the angst got to me and left me in a reallyreally bad mood, but i believe that's no excuse at all, and i'm really sorry for that.

in regards to this story, can i say i hate the Sakura here? (she has no right to just treat Naruto like that, it's unfair). i originally wanted to make this a SasuSaku-centric angst but i can't see Sasuke having Naruto's thoughts and Sakura would just make her appear like a clingy emotional girl. and if i made it in Sakura's pov, it couldn't be SasuSaku.

thanks for reading ;)


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